Two powerful words -- THANK YOU

I haven't been blogging for several months because I have been dealing with family and personal health challenges/"learning opportunities." I've been in contact with family members, state agencies, the phone company, social workers, caregivers, and numerous other people. I've been bounced from one person to another and had to wait on hold for what felt like eons but in reality was only minutes. The longer I had to wait the more impatient I became. That's when I had my "light bulb moment.

I realized that most of the people on the other end of the phone or reading my emails, are busy juggling many other job and family responsibilities. They didn't develop their company's automated telephone system or the rules for how and when things need to be done. They have as little control over policies and procedures as I do. They are doing what they were trained to do.

I could hear their tension in the tone of their voice or of their email. They often have to multi-task, deal with their own company's internal dynamics and are usually contacted only when there's a problem. They are expected to work magic and to "just smile" and try to handle the situation. They do not feel appreciated at work and many of them are working moms who don't feel appreciated at home. They are often taken for granted and thought of as nameless and faceless "service providers."

What I realized is that each one of them wants to be acknowledged and appreciated. They are no different from me. I want to be acknowledged and appreciated for who I am and what I do.

A simple thank you goes a very long way. When I'm on the phone with somebody, I acknowledge the stress they may be under and tell them how much I appreciate their help. I've sent thank you letters to social workers who were helpful to me and not as helpful to others and got notes of gratitude in return. To get a big "Thank you!!!!" from a harried social worker really brightened my day. All I did was tell her that I appreciated what she'd done for my mom. Based upon her response, I got the sense that she often felt under-appreciated and taken for granted.

As part of my "light bulb" moment, I realized that, when I talk to a repair person, the mail carrier, a doctor or a receptionist, I need to put myself in their chair and feel what life must be like for them on a day-to-day basis. Doing this, I immediately make a heart connection with the person and am truly grateful for the service that's being provided.

As the "Law of Attraction" says, like attracts life. So, if I expect positive relationships and do my part to be positive and polite, a win/win situation is created. I make it easier for the person to do his or her job with peace, ease and joy and I, in turn, get my situation handled with peace, ease and joy. Whoopee!

If I matched curtness with curtness or anger with anger, it would be a lose/lose situation and nobody wants to experience that negative outcome. Negative thoughts and actions just set the "trickle down" theory into motion. The next person either of us comes in contact with will get the carry-over from our negative interaction and that will get repeated until somebody chooses to stop the game and to replace negative thinking and behavior with positive thoughts and actions. As the saying goes, "peace is just a thought away."

A "thank you" is very powerful and it costs nothing. It starts a positive chain reaction and often makes somebody's day. It also puts you in control of you part of the situation. You decided to say "thank you" and to see life from the eyes of the other person. If you were them, how would you like to be treated?

The next time you're on hold, put yourself in the chair of the person who's going to respond to your request. If you want a positive outcome, choose to focus on the positive. Say "thank you" with sincerity. You can't change rules but you can change how you respond to them and how you treat another human being who wants the same thing you do -- appreciation. The choice is yours.