Live each moment as if it were your last

When it rains, it pours. I just got off the phone with the husband of a long-time friend named Paula. She hasn't been answering my emails so I called to see if she retired. She was really looking forward to doing that and then to do all the things she'd put off until she no longer was employed. One of those things was coming to spend some time with me in Arizona . When I talked to her husband, David, I found out she had a stroke and has the mental capacity of a 1 year old. She was one of the brightest and most creative women I know. I told David to give her a big kiss for me. She just turned 65. What she's experiencing shows the importance of living in the moment since we don't know what the next moment will bring. I haven't been blogging recently because the last few months have reinforced the importance of living in the moment and appreciating everything. Just let go of anger, grudges, hurt feelings, judgments and anything else that keeps you from experiencing happiness in this very moment. Things have been even more challenging for me recently. Hard to believe... but it's true. Here are just some of the things that have happened in the last few weeks. They are in no particular order and just meant to show you that no matter what you're experiencing somebody is experiencing even more. I've had several other opportunities to learn that lesson over the last month or so.  As you may know, I'm recovering from two serious injuries -- both of which left my body in pain and in healing mode. My most recent fall was 2 weeks ago when, while running to get the phone, I tripped and slammed my head, arm and other body parts on a doorframe. Trying to break the fall, I've re-injured the arm that's been "talking to me for almost a year."  It's difficult for me to sit, stand, walk and do much of anything. Guess God wants me to stay in one place so we stay connected. Oh, I also broke a tooth and yesterday I had a crown. Normally going to the dentist isn't one of my favorite things to do but yesterday it was actually a pleasant respite from everything else I'm dealing with. I'm proud of myself for dealing with one thing at a time, crying when I felt the need and then looking for the positive gift each event was giving me. There were many. I haven't worked in about a year because of my initial arm injury. I can't drive and need to rest every few hours so my back doesn't go into painful spasms. Because I am single, self-supporting and my coaching/consulting practice is temporarily on hiatus, I'm in huge financial debt and have a total of $800 to my name. I was able to pay my rent for May but have asked God to provide me with all the funds I need for living expenses and to pay off a huge amount of credit card debt. The good news is that I'm going to be on an international Internet radio show on May 26 and it's my intention that my appearance generates income. The best news is that I'm not worrying about these things and just doing "belly breathing" to stay in the moment and to stay calm. It's working. On top of everything else, my mom was taken by ambulance to the hospital on Thursday night when her hip gave way as she was getting up from a chair. She had major surgery and a rod was put into her hip late Saturday evening. About 6 PM Sunday night, I was able to talk with her for the first time.  She sounded groggy and she recognized me. She wondered how I knew about the surgery since she lives in California and hadn't told anybody about her fall. Her property manager called my sister, who lives in California , and my sister called me. When I was finally able to talk with my mom, she said she wanted to eat something so that's a good sign and she wasn't aware if it was 6 in the morning or the evening. That's how she always is when she gets up from a long nap. In actuality, she sounded just the way she always does when I wake her up from one of her naps when I call. I was able to tell her that I love her and that's what I really wanted to do. Now it's a wait and see game. Now I'm coordinating short-term and long-term care for my mom and this all has to be done over the phone. I've had her moved into the same convalescent facility that her sister is in while she’s recovering from a broken leg. They are at opposite sides of the facility (which is a good thing for my mom's sanity) but at least they are near each other. Unless things radically improve and my mom regains her sight as well as her mobility, my sister and I are going to have to go to LA to close my mother's apartment because we don't think she'll be ever able to return or, if she does, she'll need 24/7 nursing help. We paid her rent though June and then it we'll have a better idea about what the next steps have to be. This possibility is very emotional for my sister and me. My mom has lived in the same place for over 30 years -- twenty years after my dad's death. I'm still in healing mode myself and can't drive right without pain so two days ago I had neighbors drop my car off for service.  $600 later and my car should be great for the drive to LA. I'm going to drive as soon as I can sit for a long period of time because I want to start taking some of my mom's things home with me. Even if she does return home, there is no reason for her to save her bowling ball, thirty year old candles that are still in their original plastic wrappers, golf clubs, bowling trophies, a set of World Book Encyclopedias from the 60, a doll I got when I was on television about 40 years ago, hasn't worn in years and will never wear. My sister, who lives in San Luis Obispo, and I want to start the de cluttering process prior to my mom's death so we don't go into overwhelm when it happens. Because my mom is diabetic and feisty, we can't predict how much longer she'll be with us but we know these things will need to be done eventually. I want to start doing them before she actually dies -- because it will be easier for me and so she can make her wishes known. Basically, God must think I'm super woman because of all that I'm dealing with and I have no family in Arizona and only three family members in CA. I've come to the point where I'm on financial aid for my insurance but can't qualify for SSI until a year after my initial arm injury and then I'll have to go through a battery of tests. I've even done something that was very hard for me -- I told people that I need morale support, prayers, phone calls or cards as well as gifts of money and help doing marketing and cleaning. I am very independent and it's easy for me to offer help to other but difficult to ask for help for myself. I had to swallow my pride and ask for help. I was so grateful that some of my neighbors brought me food, did errands for me and a former client had 4 dinners sent to my house so I don't have to cook and to make sure I eat balanced meals and the husband of my best friend in Arizona (who died about 18 months ago) brought over some frozen dinners from a cafe that we like that's near my apartment. I've gotten through tough times before but never had to deal with so much as once. All I can do is to take one day at a time and to look for the positives in ALL situations. I know there is a positive aspect to all of this and to find it I have to stay focused on what's happening in this moment. I have to let got of worry about the future or recriminations about the past. I now make sure I say "I love you", stop and smell the roses, stay in contact with friends who live in different parts of the world and appreciate the beauty of every sunrise and sunset. I don't want to waste a precious moment of the limited amount of time we have on the school called planet earth. By paying attention to the good things that are happening, my attracting even more good things into my life and I am very grateful for it all. I even have the buckets ready when money starts pouring from heaven. 2007, Joanne (JP) Stein. www.jpstein.org, www.bestcoach4u.com. All rights reserved.