JPS & Associates ... helping you master change

Receiving

I’ve been doing a lot of introspection lately – probably because the pain in my arm is still limiting my mobility a bit. I’m so proud of myself when I accomplish a simple task such as washing my hair or putting on just about any piece of clothing. I know I’ll never take the use of my arms for granted.

I’m actually glad my arm is keeping me home and quiet rather than rushing around and feeling that I’ll never be able to get everything checked off my “To Do List”. I’ve had the luxury of time to go within my soul to find my authentic self and to notice how I behave in various situations. I’ve been asking myself one of Dr. Phil McGraw’s questions, “How’s that working for you?”

Some things are working great. I’m listening to my body more. If it’s tired I rest rather than override the need for my arm to be still. I ask for help more often and actually gratefully receive it and I am now recovering “people pleaser.”

What I noticed is that people always wanted to talk or to do something with me when they needed something whether it was an ear to listen to their problems, a coach to help them with a business or relationship problem or a body to go someplace with them because they didn’t want to go alone. I noticed that when I chose no longer to constantly give to other, often at my own expense, those friendships slipped away. And, guess what? I am actually happier. The energy I was investing in them, I now could invest in myself. I’m also learning to value and appreciate myself more. I don’t have to be a “people pleaser” to have friends because those relationships were so one-sided. I now prefer to be by myself rather than listening to people complain about things – sometimes for years – and never doing anything to improve the situation.

I’ve finally matured enough that I can say “no” without feeling guilty. I realized that the person who wanted me to do something would find somebody else to please them. I also realized that that same person often thought nothing of saying “no” to me when I asked for help or a favor or just an open heart who’d listened without judgment.

Giving and receiving are the flip side of the same coin. If I find that I’m either always giving or always receiving, the relationship isn’t healthy. “It’s not working for me.” Then I get to decide what I want to do next. If somebody is going to be uncomfortable, no longer will it always be me.

© 2007, Joanne (JP) Stein, www.bestcoach4u.com. All rights reserved.

Your new life starts now...

Happy birthday!  As the saying goes, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" so it’s a day for celebration. You are born anew today. The past is over and the future is yet to come. There is only now.

Your new life starts today. You’ve been put in charge of it. You’ve been given complete control. It is fresh and new, waiting to be broken in. How it turns out is now up to you. Your choices and beliefs create your reality.

Today you have a blank slate. There are no limitations on how you can use this day. And don’t worry, you can’t make a mistake because if you don’t like today you’ll have another “birthday” tomorrow when you can make different choices, if you so desire. No choice is better than another is; it’s just different and leads to different experiences. Experiences are neutral; it’s our judgmental mind that determines if a choice is good or bad. Remember, “looks can be deceiving.” Some of my best days would look horrific from an outsider’s perspective but they were fantastic for me. For example, when I was finally able to feed myself with a minimum of pain after having injured my arm months earlier and been more or less limited to drinking my meals. This was a triumphant day for me but somebody else might have experienced it as a horrible day because they felt pain.

The clock is running now. Your day has already begun. Though it seems today that you have plenty of time, the minutes will pass quickly, so take care not to squander them. Yes, there’s plenty of time, but not enough to waste.

This is your life. It’s not a test or a trial run. It’s the real thing, and it is here. It is a magnificent opportunity, and one which will not wait. This is your birthday. See it. Imagine it. Live it. Enjoy it.  Make it great.

What do you want to do differently? Do you want to change the way you respond when you're angry, frustrated, disappointed or upset? Do you want to find more things for which you're grateful? Do you want to find more time to spend curled up with a good book or having heart-to- heart conversations with the important people in your life? Do you want to go back to school or change careers or plant a garden? Decide what you want to accomplish and then "just do it." Take the first step towards reaching the outcome you desire.

Each choice you make determines how you experience today, tomorrow and the future. Expect it to be a wonderful life filled with innumerable days and countless awe-inspiring people, places and events. Act according to that belief and, 365 days later when you reflect back on the year, that's just what you will have experienced. The quality of your life depends upon your choices from moment to moment to moment. Happy birthday dear soul. What do you want to do now?

© 2007 Joanne P. Stein. www.bestcoach4u.com. All rights reserved.

Frustration

Have you ever wondered why you get frustrated? Of course, there are many different situations which lead to frustration.

But why frustration? Why do we get frustrated? Why do we even have that emotion in our repertoire? It is certainly not pleasant. So what is the point of frustration?

Frustration focuses us. No matter what triggers the frustration, the purpose for frustration to stimulate positive action. If we had no capacity for frustration, we would have to constantly endure those negative factors. But frustration gives us a way out.

Frustration comes when the reality of life does not match our vision.

There are, basically, two ways to end frustration—either by giving up the vision or by making it a reality. Giving up is only a short term solution, because our true vision does not easily give up.

In your frustration, you can see your vision. And in your frustration, is the energy to attain that vision. Feel the frustration. Be thankful for it. Learn what it can teach you about yourself. And let it spur you into positive, life-changing action.

Sand irritating an oyster is what creates a pearl. Frustration with the way something is done is what causes new inventions. Dissatisfaction with the number that appears on a scale is what causes people to make healthy life style changes. As the saying goes, "no pain, no gain."

Think of irritation, frustration and disappointment as traffic signals for your life. Those emotions are telling you to "stop, look and listen" to what's going on in your life and to evaluate where you want to go from here. What direction do you want this job, relationship or situation to take? Feelings of irritation, frustration and disappointment cause us to think "there must be a better way." They move us along on our life's journey.

Next time you feel frustrated, identify what other emotions or beliefs are associated with the frustration. You may hear words like:  "I'm so stupid", "you'll never amount to anything", "everything has to be perfect", or "nothing I ever do is good enough." This process will give you a good roadmap about what's going on in your inner world.

You'll identify your challenges (some of which you might have carried with you from your childhood) and you'll have more information to help you decide what you want to do next. Are you using the frustration to motivate you to make changes that will bring you a goal you want or are you using it to stay stuck in a negative situation or to hold on to negative beliefs about yourself? Decide what changes you need to make either in your environment or your reaction to your environment and do something to improve the situation. No one but you sits in the driver's seat for your life. Where do you want to go from here?

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. Copyright © 2007 Joanne (JP) Stein All rights reserved

Keep your vision strong

Raise your expectations about what you can accomplish. That's what champion athletes do. They continually expect more and more from themselves and they put in all the time and effort to achieve each new goal. A pole vaulter or a high jumper will raise the bar for the next attempt, even if his last jump resulted in an all-time best performance of even a new world's record. An ice skater who masters a triple jump will try to increase the number of them that she does in her next program or she might even begin working on a quadruple jump. A runner will try to run faster, a golfer will try to decrease his score and a tennis player will try to increase the speed and accuracy of her shots.

Athletes don't settle for less than their personal best and neither should you. Decide what you want to accomplish with your life. Do you want to be a world-class parent, artist, business person or human being? Get a clear picture of what success will look like for you. See it in vivid detail and really feel how your life will be different when you achieve your goal. If it's a goal worth having it's a goal worth working towards.

Get a piece of paper and list all the things that will need to take place for you to achieve your goal, no detail is too small to be listed nor too impossible to try to achieve. Then develop an action plan or a timeline that lists when you'll achieve each item on your list. Set realistic goals for yourself. If you miss a deadline, just readjust your plan rather than throwing it out. Success comes as much from doing each step in the process as it does from achieving the outcome. That's because once you've achieved a goal, it's time to raise the bar again.

It is all too easy to accept the limits placed on you by other people or by random circumstances. Easy, yes, but where does that get you? Do you want your vision to be eroded by the small-mindedness of those around you? What is your purpose, anyway—to just get along, or to make a real difference?

Respect the opinions of others, to be sure. There is much you can learn from them. Let them challenge you, support you and push you forward. Don’t let them limit you. You are your own person. Only you know what you are capable of achieving. No one else has the ability to limit that, unless you let them.  Sure, the negative comments and criticism can sting. Yet you must learn from them and move forward.

You are truly blessed with a magnificent, powerful, unique life. There are so many places you can go, so many wonderful things you can do. In all of history, there has never been anyone who can equal you. Keep your vision strong. Set your own limits. Set your own standards, and set them high. This is your life we’re talking about. It’s worth every effort you can give to it.

Life is about constantly trying to achieve your personal best. Once you've achieved it in one area of your life, you might want to focus on another. If you're a great business person, you might want to become a great artist or a terrific parent. If you're a world class scientist, maybe you also want to be a stellar spouse or a community leader. There's no limit to what you can achieve if you're willing to keep your vision strong and if you're willing to explore new possibilities.

Copyright © 1998 Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.

Expectations

If you expect things to be difficult, they will be. In fact, you’ll look for “proof” to support your belief that life is difficult. If you expect miracles to happen in your life, you’ll look for “proof” to support that believe. Which expectation will cause you to improve the quality of your life? Which expectation will keep you stuck in a dead-end job or a demoralizing personal relationship? What will your life be like if you believe you’re too old or set in your ways to change? What would your life be like if you believe that you’ll always succeed because you’ll learn something from everything you experience? Expect the best from yourself and that’s what you’ll get. Expect the worse... The choice is yours.

It is easy to change your expectations, in fact you can do it in an instant, and that can be a problem. Too often, we lower our expectations because that is easier than overcoming the obstacles that stand in the way of fulfilling those expectations.

Are you being forced to lower your expectations, or are you simply choosing the easy way out? You must expect the best in order to achieve the best, yet it takes more than just expectation. It takes effort and commitment. If you lower your expectations at the first sign of difficulty, it seriously erodes their value.

Don’t lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality.

Copyright 2006, Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.
www.bestcoach4u.com, jp@bestcoach4u.com

Appreciate the challenges

We show our true character by the way we approach the challenges in our life and, believe me, there will always be challenges.

The challenges I’ve overcome in the last five years are a testament to my strength, courage, perseverance, faith, trust and my willingness to be my most vulnerable self. The journey has been very difficult at times but I’m proud of the me that has emerged. I hope the lessons I learned will help others to learn theirs with peace, ease and grace.

Accomplishment requires effort, and effort requires resistance. Without challenges and obstacles standing in your way, it would be impossible to achieve anything. If there was nothing to impede you, everything worth doing would have already been done. And where would be the joy in a world such as that?

Success is a process, not a static state. If you’re making headway against the obstacles, you are successful. The greater the challenges, the greater the potential for fulfillment.

The persistence and effort that go into any accomplishment, serve to distinguish and substantiate it. The longer and more assiduously you work on something, the more securely it is yours. Appreciate the challenges. They make success meaningful, and possible.

If we are timid or very fearful, we try every conscious and unconscious trick in the book to get somebody else to solve our problems for us. We make ourselves sick with worry so somebody will feel sorry for us and handle OUR challenge. That way we have somebody to blame if things don't work out the way we want them to and we get to continue to feel like a victim.

We get manipulative, trying to transfer the responsibility for solving the problem to somebody else. With the responsibility, we're also transferring the ability to control the quality of our life so again we get to hold onto the illusion that we're a victim.

If we are timid or in "victim mode", we get overwhelmed and easily distracted. We procrastinate. We wallow in self-pity for so long that we get incapacitated. In other words, we do all the things that cause us to hold on to our challenges even longer than necessary and, sometimes, we acquire additional problems along the way. People who never take responsibility for their own lives or face their challenges are depriving themselves of the opportunity to feel empowered and proud of their accomplishments.

On the other hand, people who are courageous (you know the one's I'm talking about, the ones that "feel the fear and do it anyway") get stronger and more confident every time they overcome a fear and do whatever's necessary to move beyond their challenge. They strengthen their character and see themselves as being triumphant rather than as being victimized. They experience all their feelings as long as necessary. They don't run away from emotions by heading for alcohol, drugs, food or any other self-destruction solution.

They acknowledge their anger, express their fears and concerns and, even though their hands may be shaking and they may be powered by blind faith and trust, they take one step after another to get them beyond their challenge. At the end of the journey, they feel triumphant because they know deep inside that they have built up the inner strength necessary to help them handle the next challenge that they'll face. They know the only way to feel strong is by facing each challenge as it arises. It's by being courageous that we gain courage.

You don't know how truly powerful you are until your strength is tested. So appreciate the challenges and gain power by exercising your strength of character.

Copyright 2006,

Joanne Stein

. All rights reserved.

10250 E. Mountain View Road

,

Scottsdale

,

AZ

85258

(480) 661-6422, www.bestcoach4u.com

There are two sides to every situation...

There is a “gift” in every situation. Even if an event seems negative on the surface, there is something good happening underneath. Have you gotten divorced, fired from a job or had an illness and thought that your world had ended? If you picked yourself up, dusted off your pride and released your need to always be “right” or in control, you probably learned some wonderful lessons about yourself. You learned that you’re a survivor. You learned that you have people in you corner to help you when you need a little “tender, loving care.” You learned what causes you pain and what causes you joy and what you need to change in you life so that you have less pain and more joy.

There is more than one side to every situation. You don’t want to overlook the obvious, of course. But don’t let your comprehension of the obvious blind you to those things which lie hidden.

For more than 7 months, I have been challenged with an arm that doesn’t work the way I want it to work. I have limited range of motion and the degree of mobility changes from day to day along with the intensity of the pain. Being unable to do the simplest of things like blow dry my hair, drive and sometimes even lift up a fork, I’ve had plenty of “down time.”

I’ve spent most of those 7 months within the 4-walls of my apartment. I had nothing competing for my attention, so I was able to find the treasures buried underneath the ruble. I identified and changed some limiting beliefs about myself and others, asked for help and had people show up for me, got to know what’s really important in my life and it’s not how much money I have in the bank, the year and model of my car, the title on my business card or the size clothing I wear.

The gift I found was an appreciation for simple pleasures and acts of kindness. They open my heart more than any new trinket could have, no matter how much it cost.

There is much opportunity in looking beyond the obvious. In every piece of bad news, you’ll find positive possibilities hidden somewhere, if you’ll just make the effort to uncover them.

Anyone can see the obvious. That’s why we call it obvious. Make the effort to see beyond the obvious, and you’ll find a wealth of hidden treasure.

If you look for the “gift” or the opportunity in every situation, you’ll change your perception of the event. Just by that shift in consciousness, the situation won’t seem so bad and you’ll be motivated to take the actions needed to turn your life around.

Get in the habit of asking yourself what else there is. You can turn any negative situation into a positive opportunity by knowing how to look past the obvious. When something is troubling you, force yourself to consider what is positive about it. You’ll find it if you look.

Copyright 2006, Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.
www.bestcoach4u.com, jp@bestcoach4u.com, jps_and_associates@yahoo.com 

Embarking on a new career

I worked with a client this week who wants to change careers. She’s been doing the same thing for over 30 years. She’s terrified to change careers and yet at the same time is looking forward to new opportunities. As somebody who went from being a teacher, to an assistant controller of a real estate company, to a trainer for new computer equipment, to a technical writer, to a director of training, to a Human Resources manager and finally to a success coach and business consultant, I knew exactly what she was experiencing.

What we do for a living can be intimately intertwined with who we are. Often, people expect to grow and thrive in one career over a period of decades. For others, however, that expectation is unrealistic. As they themselves change, they become dissatisfied with the profession that once brought them joy. This is not unusual in modern times, where more and more people are changing careers not just once, but many times over the course of their lives. Some of these changes are by choice and others are the result of layoffs and mergers.

Because your career is a part of who you are, switching to another can be a long and involved process that requires courage and determination. The challenges, which can include stepping into unfamiliar territory, going back to school, or learning to live on less income, are very real, but the rewards can trump them. Changing careers, if done thoughtfully, can be one of the most richly satisfying and exciting experiences of your life.

If for years your soul has been telling you that you would make a skilled lawyer, a talented sculptor, or a brilliant electrical engineer, it's worth investigating the possibilities. Alternatively, you may be desirous of a more soulful and fulfilling career but haven't figured out what it is yet. In either case, explore. If you have identified a passion, research it. Talk to people in that field and find out how they got there. Ask about the ups and the downs.

If you're unsure of a career path you might like to pursue, look toward your passions, abilities, hobbies, and values. Determine what your ideal work hours, income, commute time, and working situation would be. If you love the idea of flexible hours or working from home, decide whether you would be willing to earn less as a trade off. Look for careers that offer the type of work environment and benefits you are looking for.

Creating a new future takes time and effort, and a willingness to delve deep into the positives and negatives of a variety of careers.

Focus on your strengths, rather than skills you may be lacking. Seeking skill training or the help of a coach (ME!) can be helpful. It's normal to be nervous when seeking out a new career, particularly if you are established in your current profession. But the payoff can be true satisfaction in finding work that you can love, and, it's never too late for change.

In addition, for me personally, every change improved the quality of my life. I’m now combining my love of spirituality, personal growth, teaching, writing and facilitating change in my coaching practice.

When I got out of college, did I envision myself having my own business? Not in my wildest dreams. The path that took me here involved my being laid off twice, making a decision to leave two careers and taking a giant leap of faith to “go it alone”! It’s been challenging to say the least but it was well worth it. I now love my job and I’m a much happier person!

Copyright 2006, Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.
www.bestcoach4u.com, jp@bestcoach4u.com, jps_and_associates@yahoo.com

I do best what I like to do most...

The phrase, “I do best what I like to do most,” resonates with me. I can spend hours living, writing or talking about spiritual principles, finding beauty wherever I focus my eyes, cheering  friends and clients on as they stretch beyond their comfort zones and finding practical ways to improve the way things are done.

The things I do best are the things I’m good at or interested in and they help me to focus on the positive. It’s as if my mind gets to go on a vacation and that enables my body to relax and experience less stress. In other words, I experience “the thrill of victory rather than the agony of defeat” when I do things that give me joy. The more joy I feel the more I find things that increase that sense of joy.

What I like to do most brings me inner satisfaction; I walk my talk and feel proud of my accomplishments even though others may not even notice what’s happening. When I do what makes me happy, it’s as if my stomach is smiling and acts like a magnet, attracting more positive things into my life.

Yesterday I helped a “seasoned citizen” who was sitting on a bench and having great difficulty as she was trying to pull up her sock. I could see her frustration because she couldn’t reach her foot so I asked her if I could help. She grateful accepted my “random act of kindness” and I watched frustration melt and reveal a gentle smile.

I felt good all day because I did something without need for recognition. I did it because I’ve had several injuries where strangers were compassionate and helped me without my having to ask them for assistance. I helped the woman because it brought me inner satisfaction. I still feel good improving the quality of somebody’s life in only for a moment by a simple act of acknowledging the need of another human being and providing help. I bet that’s also how the people who helped me felt. Because it feels good, I will continue to do random acts of kindness and express gratitude when a stranger does something kind for me.

What I like to do most affords me all the opportunities I desire to live my life as I choose. I love coaching and consulting. These activities afford me the opportunity to have a flexible schedule and to be selective about who I choose to have as clients. The downside of what I do is always having to market my services so there is an endless flow of people that I can serve, having an unpredictable income – trusting that the universe will provide – and trying to find insurance as a sole (more accurately “soul”) practioner.

The pluses out weigh the minuses and I wouldn’t think about changing careers. Sure, I’d might make more money if I had a traditional job in Corporate America but the price I’d have to pay would be too great. I’d be doing less of what I’m good at and more paper pushing and sitting through endless meetings.

I do best what I like to do most and I’m so glad I’ve taken the time to determine exactly what those things are. The happier I am, the happier the people that I meet are. Happiness creates more reasons to be happy and “let it begin with me.”

Copyright 2006, Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.
www.bestcoach4u.com, jp@bestcoach4u.com, jps_and_associates@yahoo.com 

Who needs a success coach?

When I meet somebody for the first time and they ask me what I do for a living, I tell them that I’m a success coach. Often that answer is met with a blank stare because they have had no experience with coaching except in regards to sports. I go on to explain a bit about the process and that success coaching is similar to coaching an Olympic athlete.

If a gymnast wants to get to be a gold metal winner, he must practice and have guidance from somebody who’s already achieved that goal. That’s why every athlete has a coach. The coach teaches the gymnast, swimmer, cyclist or archer the best method to become a winner in the least amount of time. The coach and the Olympic hopeful determine a plan of action and it’s the coaches responsibility to make sure the athlete adheres to the plan and reaches the goal.

I do the same thing for people who want to achieve personal and professional goals as well as organizations that want to be more profitable.

As your success coach, I show you how to tap into your passions and turn your dreams into reality. Even more, you get the right tools and techniques to help you meet the busy demands of your life, all with more joy and less stress every day.

What do people REALLY want when they hire me as their coach? People hire me for many reasons, but underneath all the financial and career goals, the plans for a perfect relationship, and the other STUFF that society tells us we should have, the true goal is usually a deeper kind of success. It is the success that comes from:

·        knowing what you really believe, what you really want, and living with true authenticity.

·        working and living more harmoniously with other people.

·       having time and peace of mind enough to be able to smell the roses, watch a sunset, smile at a loved one.

My goal is that the lives of my coaching clients shall be more in harmony, more in balance, less bothered by the irritations and tolerations that sap their energy, and more free to enjoy the many gifts that life has brought us.

My aim is that, whatever form of success people truly aim for, as their coach I will help them to reach it more easily, and enjoy it more deeply.

Why not double or triple your results with this success coach with a proven record of accomplishment? I’d like to gift you with a free 30-minute coaching session.

Contact me by phone 480-661-6422 or email jp@bestcoach4u.com, if you're serious about improving the quality of your life and making your goals a reality.

Copyright 2006, Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.
www.bestcoach4u.com, jp@bestcoach4u.com, jps_and_associates@yahoo.com

Question 4

Ok, you know what your "good life" consists of, you know what you’d need to change in your life to be the best possible YOU and now we’re going to determine what’s preventing you from taking action to achieve your goal.

As you read today’s question, take several deep breaths, let the question percolate in your mind and then email me your thoughts or post them on this site.

Remember, until we take the time to think about what we want to create in our life, things seem to happen randomly. Once we know what outcome we want, we can make better choices about how we spend our time, money, resources and energy. If we don’t take action, nothing will change!

TODAY’S QUESTION

What’s holding me back?

Copyright 2006, Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.
www.bestcoach4u.com, jp@bestcoach4u.com

Question 3

Question 1 dealt with identifying the dreams that you have abandoned. Yesterday’s question had you focus on how you define your "good life." Today’s question is about changes you’d like to make in order to be the best possible YOU.

As a reminder, take several deep breaths as you read the question, let the question percolate in your mind and then email me your thoughts or just post them on this site.

Jotting down your responses will give you added clarity about what you need to do to have more joy and less stress in your life.

TODAY’S QUESTIONS

What changes would I need to make to become my personal best?

• What would I need to learn?
• What would I need to change?
• What weakness would I have to overcome?
• Who could help me become my personal best?

Copyright 2006, Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.
www.bestcoach4u.com, jp@bestcoach4u.com

Predict the future...

The most successful people in this world have a highly refined ability to accurately predict the future. Is it the result of some mysterious psychic power? No. Does this ability come from having a superior intelligence? No. Is it based on having the right connections? No. Is it the result of where they went to school, the amount of money in their wallet or the vitamins they had with their morning cereal? No.

Successful people very accurately predict the future using a tactic that is available to anyone, regardless of gender, race, weight, height, age, income bracket, place of residence, experience, or any other special factor. Anyone anywhere can predict his or her own future with amazing accuracy and it’s very easy to do.

Simply set a goal for yourself, identify exactly what actions you must take to reach that goal, and then take every one of those actions. The moment you decide on a course of action and do more than just identify the results you want, you’ve predicted your own future. This is where having me as your success coach comes in handy since I keep you moving forward and focused on your desired outcome. Keeping you motivated and taking action helps you create the future you want.

If you want a new job and take action to get it, you are more likely to land that new job than if you only think about making a career change and write it on a piece of paper. If you want to buy a new house in the future, you are likely to be living in that new residence if you begin saving money for the down payment. Without the money, there won’t be a new house in your future. If your goal is to be healthier, you are more likely to achieve that result if you begin exercising and eating more healthy foods than if you just decide the outcome you want without taking one step in the direction that will lead you there. In other words, your future is determined by the actions you take now.

To make sure you succeed, you might want to begin with baby steps. What’s your goal for today?. What do you want accomplish? Is it pampering yourself, finishing that home improvement project, updating your resume, showing your family how much you love them? What steps do you need to take to accomplish your goal? Take those steps and celebrate your success with positive words to yourself about your achievement. Really experience how good it feels to accomplish a goal which you selected. After you’ve mastered daily goals, move to weekly, monthly, yearly goals. I’ll predict that you’re well on your way to having a wonderful life if today’s goal is tied in your life plan.

Anyone can follow the example of the most successful people in the world. Predict your own bright, shining future, and then take the action to make it happen.

Copyright 2006, Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.
www.bestcoach4u.com, jp@bestcoach4u.com

Why should I hire a coach?

If someone asked you to name the most important things in your life, what would you list—your family, your faith, your health, your significant other, your integrity, your career? It is a question that very rarely gets asked of us by other people.

Yet, every day life asks that question and every day we answer.  The answer is not in words, but in actions. The actions you take on a daily basis speak louder than any claims you might make as to the most important things in your life. The way you spend your time, the things to which you give your attention, and the areas to which you commit your resources, present a clear and undeniable picture of your true priorities.

Are your priorities what you think they are? Look at your actions.  Look at your results. Look at the life you’ve built for yourself. Does your reality agree with your vision? Success and fulfillment come not from what we think would be nice, but from what we actually do, hour after hour, day after day.

Your life at this moment is an accurate representation of the things that have truly been important to you in the past; it's a reflection of whatever you have been committed to achieving. With that in mind, ask yourself—what’s important to you now?

Do you want to double or triple your results?  Are you committed to doing everything possible to increase your success?  Are you interested in decreasing stress in your life and increasing your sense of well-being as well as the amount of money you earn?

As your Executive Coach, I will work with you to achieve your goals by helping you:

1.            Consider how you act, why you are motivated to act the way you do, the impact of your actions on others and how to adapt to create win/win outcomes.

2.            Crystallize your vision, goals and life purpose.

3.            Clarify and define your strategy to achieve your best life possible.

4.            Prioritize your goals and task to prevent burnout and to become a winner.

5.            Continually guide you and provide you with objective feedback and to act as your cheerleader to keep you motivated.

6.            Keep you accountable so you turn your dreams into reality.

If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Having a coach changes all that.  Contact me today so I can help you to achieve your highest potential.

Copyright 2006, Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.

www.bestcoach4u.com, jp@bestcoach4u.com or jps_and_associates@yahoo.com

Patience serves a purpose...

“Patience is a virtue.” How many times have we heard that phrase? I don’t know about you but, in regards to patience, I’m not as “virtuous” as I’d like to be. I want what I want NOW. I want the new clients now. I want the new relationship now. I want the thinner body now. I want the 6-digit influx of cash into my bank account now. I want energy, praise, success, inner bliss, love, relaxation and all the things I define as the good life and I want them now.

How lucky I am that everything happens in accordance with divine right timing, not according to my whim of the moment. If I got everything I wanted all at one time, I’d blow a mental or physical gasket because so many changes would be going simultaneously that I’d be in a constant state of movement, much like a whirling dervish or a Tasmanian devil. I’d experience so much chaos I wouldn’t have time to “stop and smell the roses”, or appreciate the wonderful things I have in my life right now or just sit down on the grass and relax while watching my dog scampering around the yard. If a genie granted all my wishes at once, it would feel like the first day of school in every area of my life. Get the brown paper bag ready so I don’t hyperventilate. “I want my mommy.”

My mind can only deal with a few changes at a time. It needs to do predatory work before it can even realize things could be a different way.

I also need time to get psychologically ready to deal with the “ripple effect” my changes may cause in the lives of others. Friends, family members, co-workers and others have been comfortable with me looking a certain way, acting a certain way, or adhering to a certain set of values. As I change, I no longer fit into friends’, family members’ or co-workers’ pre-defined category for me and I am no longer “predictably.” Get them their own brown paper bags so they don’t hyperventilate or have a panic attack.

Direct and/or indirect changes are very scary for some people. I consciously chose to make changes to improve the quality of my life; they didn’t. My choices also have an impact on their lives and they may not be too happy that they weren’t “consulted in advance” (…so they could talk me out of the changes thereby not having to find another category to shove me into so, in their minds, they would not have to feel temporarily destabilized.)

Friends, family members and others may also want us to stay the same because if we can make conscious choices to have a happier life so can they. That may cause them to become frozen with terror when they come to some new realizations. “You mean I don’t have to take this abuse?” “You mean I have a right to make my own choices?” “You mean I don’t have to go to my mother-in-law’s for Thanksgiving?” You get the idea; it may be easier for them to try to keep you “just the way they want you to be” rather than to risk even thinking about the possibility that they have the power to improve their own lives. They can make conscious choices so they have less stress and more joy in their lives.

It’s a good thing that all our wishes don’t come true at one time. We may not be ready to handle the consequences nor may the outcome really be something that we want. We may think we want a new relationship but. in reality, what we want is more love, affection and appreciation from our significant other. We may think we want a new job but, in reality, we may want the opportunity to take on more responsibility in our current position. We may think we want to move but, in reality, we want to decorate our existing living space. If we got the new relationship, the new job and the new house all at one time, we’d be in overwhelm because every area of our life would have been changed. OK, take a slow deep breath...

I’m going to continue to set clear intentions about what I want to manifest in my life but I’m going to leave the timing up to God, Spirit, the universe – whatever name you use for source energy. That higher power sees my life from the macro level while I only see it from the micro level. If I have patience, everything will happen in divine right order and I will manifest my soul’s desires. Not to mention, I won’t need to stockpile brown paper bags!

Copyright 2006, Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.
www.bestcoach4u.com, jp@bestcoach4u.com, jps_and_associates@yahoo.com 

Use your emergency preparedness kit...

We are often told that when you're overwhelmed by a problem you need to take action and by doing so you'll turn the challenge into an opportunity to learn more about yourself and others. I agree.

As I'm writing this, my arm hasn’t quite returned to God’s perfection (so driving and doing anything involving my right hand is challenging), resources and opportunities haven’t quite manifested so I can experience financial freedom and I’m healing lots of old emotional wounds by fully experiencing them NOW. I should buy stock in Kleenex.

I have 2 choices: worry or do something positive and write my blog. I chose to write about what I'm experiencing as it's a way to stay focused in the moment and to share what I've learned with others who may be going through the same thing now or who go will through it in the future. Here are some of the things that I now pack into "emergency preparedness kit" – they're things to do to help you when you have one problem or many and no matter what size the problem is.

·        Breathe. Focused breathing relieves stress and keeps you focused in the moment.

·        Shed as many tears as you need to. Feel and express all the emotions that come up and do it for as long as you feel it's necessary. Don't listen to people who tell you to stop crying if you still feel you have some tears left to shed. They want you to stop so they'll feel better so they won't have to feel their own feelings.

     Tears keep emotional energy from staying blocked in the body and causing “dis-ease.” Feel and release the emotions as soon as possible after the event occurred and do it in a way that feels safe for you. Yelling at or blaming others only gives you more feelings that will need to be released. Why add more negative feelings to your existing pile?

·        Do research to find out all you can about the situation: The more information you have the better able you will be to make wise decisions. Go to the library, check the internet, hire a professional, speak to a clergy member, or do other things so you are well informed about the situation.

·        Ask for help. If there are specific things that will help you to resolve a problem, ask for help. You increase the odds that you'll get what you need if people are aware of what they can do for you. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was to ask for help and it actually made me a kinder, gentler and more open person. I didn’t have to waste energy keeping up the “Superwoman” image or go into overwhelm because I was too proud to admit I couldn’t do everything at one time.

     I still need help to do simple things and I find that people, even strangers, are more than willing to help. I just need to ask for the help rather than getting angry because somebody didn't do something they didn't even known I needed done.

    When I ask for help, I always give the other person the option to say no or to offer an alternative that works better for them. Because of my arm, I've had friends drive me to get my haircut, take me to the market, cook meals for me, volunteer to clean my apartment, buy groceries for me, and send me money to make things easier for me since I haven't been able to see clients for months. I have truly been blessed and I'm grateful for every act of kindness. I now know how good it feels when somebody helps me so I will be able to put myself in sombody else's place when they need help. I'll be one of the first to volunteer to be of assistance.

·        Keep focused. That may mean replacing fearful thoughts with affirmations, cleaning windows, doing a puzzle, or engaging in a hobby. The more you can turn your energy away from obsessive worry, the better you'll be able to handle the situation. I find I get some of my best ideas when I’m doing a mundane task. My mind is focused on washing the dishes so my creativity can focus on coming up with a new way of handling a situation.

·        Take care of yourself. Take your vitamins, eat healthy foods, get some exercise, be around nature or beauty and relax. You need all your energy at this time and "running on empty" will only cause problems for you in the future. This may also mean asking for professional help from your doctor, clergyman or a mental health professional if you feel yourself becoming depressed or feeling hopeless about the situation.

·        Develop a plan. Think through the options you're facing and create an action plan for each option. That way you'll be prepared and the problems won't seem so overwhelming. I am a success coach and I help each of my client develop an plan and implement it. It also helps them to know there have a champion on their side cheering them on to victory.

·        Learn from the experience. This is a time to learn more about yourself and those around you. It's a time to see that no one benefits if you hold on to old hurts or grudges. It's a time to forgive and to express your truth in the moment and to focus on facts rather than on judgment or blame. What you learn and do now will help you in the immediate situation and prepare the groundwork for improved relationships in the future.

·        Pray. Turn the situation over to a Higher Power and trust that HE/SHE/IT/UNIVERSAL LIGHT (whatever name you use for Love/God) has an even more detailed plan for your ultimate happiness. Trust that your prayers will be answered in divine right order. If you truly trust, you have no need to worry. The problem is solved. The solutions may not come in the form or at the time you expect but as long as you believe the solutions will appear. God sees the big picture while you only see one small piece of it. Besides, HE can work miracles and truly wants you to experience joy. Let HIM do his work and get out of your own way.

By using the tools in this "emergency preparedness kit", you'll be better equipped to handle any problems that you may experience on life's journey. This will keep problems from being intimidating and overwhelming.

In summary, what turns a problem into an opportunity? Action. The quickest way to transform a problem into an opportunity is to do something about it. Take action. Go to work on the problem by opening your emergency preparedness kit and doing one of the steps list. If I slow down, breathe and ask for divine guidance, the opportunity begins to reveal itself.

Worrying and complaining only makes the problem worse. Action is what improves the situation. Think back to all the challenges you’ve faced in the past, and to how your action changed them from negative to positive.

Overwhelmed by a problem, put your emergency preparedness kit to use.

Copyright 2006, Joanne (JP) Stein. All rights reserved.
www.bestcoach4u.com, jp@bestcoach4u.com, jps_and_associates@yahoo.com